


The World Turned Upside Down (ON HOLD)

by Mcd111



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, Angst, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Broken marriage, Cancer, Cheating, Eventual Lams, Eventual Smut, Gen, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette - Freeform, John Laurens - Freeform, Lams - Freeform, Maria Reynolds - Freeform, Multi, Past James Reynolds/Maria Reynolds if you squint, Sick Character, Thomas Jefferson - Freeform, divorice, eventual affair, oh man this is sad, philip is an only child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:51:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15010190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcd111/pseuds/Mcd111
Summary: When Philip Hamilton is diagnosed with stage four Leukemia his health takes a hit. and so does Alexander and Eliza's relationship, will they survive it? Will Alexander keep his dick in his pants when he meets a freckled beauty that knows nothing of his struggles?8/16/18: ON HOLD UNTIL I GET MOTIVATION/ A BREAK FROM THE MANY OTHER PROJECTS I'M WORKING ON.





	1. The World Turned Upside Down

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! this fic is probably going to be very angsty, so if childhood illness or any of the mentioned tags affect you please look out for yourself. (if I missed any tags please just let me know!)
> 
> chapters will get much longer than this, I just wanted to get the first chapter here so it was at least started and I couldn't abandon this idea completely.

Alexander had always liked hospitals, the bustle of the hallways, the rushing. It gave everyone sort of an amoninity, some were here because their buddy had a bet go wrong; others are here for unspeakably tragic thing, everyone had a unique story here. 

But today, alexander felt like he hated hospitals. The sterile sent burned his nose and there wasn’t any rushing, something didn’t feel right in the cold and obscenely white room. Alexander’s first born son Philip was sitting on padded bench, just high enough off the ground for his feet to dangle, kick absentmindedly and for the paper on the bench to crinkle every so often as he did so.

“I’m sure the doctor will be back soon with the blood work soon.” Alexander’s wife Eliza flashed a smile to Philip and rubbed her thumb against Alexander’s palm. 

There was a click at the door and the three simultaneously looked in the direction of the noise, watching a quite tall female walk in and close the door behind her, turning to face the anxious family.

She cleared her throat “Um may I speak to you two just outside please?” her face blank as she spoke.

Nothing could have prepared any parent to learn that their kid has stage four cancer, it’s unimaginable. Alexander saw the doctor’s emotionless lips moving but he couldn’t hear anything she was saying, fuzz filled his ears as his eyes lost their focus and his knees locked.

“Alexander?” he was pulled back into reality by his wifes shaking voice and a hand was placed on his forearm.

“Like I said, there are options. but please take your time researching and I suggest getting a second opinion.’’

Eliza and Alexander knew something was wrong but obviously weren’t expecting this, how is this going to be explained to little philip? He’s six years old for christ’s sake! Alexander’s mind was screaming with thoughts.

“Mom? What’s going on? What did the doc-’’ philip is cut off by Eliza crouching down to eye level and taking both his hands into hers and giving a reassuring look.

“The doctors say that you need lots of rest so you’re nosebleeds and headaches go away, okay?” she smiled

“Okay mom.” phillip smiled back

Taking the subway back to our apartment complex Philip fell asleep, it was way past his bedtime and Eliza had him in her lap his unruly curls under her chin and his face in the crook of her neck. And Eliza rubbed circles into the small of his back, only silence was shared between Alexander and Eliza but they both knew they had to talk about ti one way or another but, now wasn’t the time.

Laying the small but not scrawny child on his racecar bed the two helped Philip into some PJ’s and tucked him in, they silently left and went to their own bed.

They didn’t speak because they just didn’t know what to say to each other, Alexander loved Eliza with every fiber of his being but things had been getting tense since little Philip had been missing school and getting migraines and now the know why.

That night, for the first time in a while, instead of arguing or talking something to death; they just held each other.


	2. Guns And Pricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander's mood is well described with "fuck it" today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually know how courtrooms work or what the process is really like so forgive me. *french translations at the end, I used google translate lol)

“You’re honor, this is absurd.” Alexander’s voice sounding exhausted, he was truly the most tired he has ever been in his life. Between his new mouthy client and his son’s treatment, Alexander was ready to break.

‘’vous êtes vraiment un connard, je ne pouvais pas donner une baise volante!” the unruly frenchman spit at the man who controlled his fate.

“Je parle français et vous méprise au tribunal.” The man keeping his composure like he deals with things like this everyday, which in all honesty Alexander didn’t doubt that in fact did.

“You’re honor I assure you that isn’t necessary.’’ Alexander pleaded “And please can we keep this in english? while I am fluent in french, I know not everyone in this room is.”

“Mr. Hamilton is right, but I am sentencing thirty days in the county jail for contempt of court. Dismissed.” The judge tapped his jable and the room went back into a quiet hum of mingling, Alexander watched as his client Lafayette was hauled back out of the courtroom.

“Fuck it.” Alexander mumbled under his breath and sprinted after him. “Lafayette!’’ he caught up with him and the officer on either side of him.  
“Monsieur? What are you doing?” He raised an eyebrow as the four continued to move fast paced.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Alexander reprimanded the taller man.

“bastard is just racist, did you even hear what he was saying!’’ Lafayette had a point, the judge was saying some questionable things and Alexander had seen Judge George do similar actions that were blatantly biased but had to hold his tongue; he now wished he hadn’t.

“Je suis désolé mais parfois vous devez jouer le système pour descendre, et cela signifie traiter avec des piqûres comme lui.” Alexander felt bad about what he was saying, but it was all true. 

“I’m sorry but Mr. Hamilton, we need you to leave.” the officer gave him a stern look and Alexander decided not to push, he gave Lafayette an apologetic look then started out the door.

The stairs were crowded and busy with chatter and Alexander would catch glimpses of angry attorneys yelling into their earpieces about deadlines, that’s the thing about public service; it’s complete shit. There aren’t enough people doing public because it doesn’t pay anywhere near as much as private practise or a firm, but somebody has to do it and that someone is Alexander and most of the depressed souls in these marble themed halls.

There were a couple vending machines by a small cafe next to the courtrooms, Alexander needed caffeine or he would melt into a puddle of tears like a toddler. Feeding the electronic with a couple coins and hearing the sweet yet violent clinck of Alexander’s favorite energy drink hit the bottom of the machine.

Feeling buzzing in his pocket as he reached down to grab the drink, he unlocked his phone to a text from his wife

‘At the hospital with Philip, his treatment ran long. Won’t be home for a couple more hours, sorry :(‘

Alexander downed the carbonated drink in one go and sighed, looking back down to his phone to reply.

‘Okay, I’ll be home whenever you guys get home, love you.’

Alexander pushed through the clear doors and breathed in the not so refreshing air, he made his way to a bench not far from the court house. Sitting down and taking his head in both his hands. Giving out emotionally Alexander felt hot tears start streaming down his face.

“Tough day? You alright?” Alexander was so caught up in his misery that he didn’t even notice the stranger next to him sitting down. Alexander quickly rub the tears from his face and sat up, tuning his attention to his right.

“U-Um yeah, you could say that.” Alexander trailed off getting lost in the stranger’s brown-greenish eyes, freckles like constellations; far too many to even count. He recognized the man, Alexander had seen him around the court’s hallways.

“It’s Alexander, right?” a toothy smile lit up his warm face

“That’s me, and I believe you are John..?” Alexander clicked his fingers trying to remember a last name.

“Laurens.” John corrected.

“Yes! Sorry.” Alexander laughed and put his palm to his forehead, John chuckled in response.

“It’s all good.” he put his hand up and laughed and comfortable silence fell between them. Then john suddenly looked up at Alexander, “Hey, what are you doing tonight?” John looked hopefully at him.

“Nothing really, I haven’t had the best day so I’m just going home I guess. Why do you ask?” Alexander shifted and put his ankle on his knee.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to get drinks down at that new bar down the street, you look like you sure as hell need one.” John grinned at him. Fuck it.

“Alright, let’s go then!” Alexander stood up excitedly and John followed suit.

The bar wasn’t as crowded as it could have been but it was still pretty packed. Alexander was surprised to see a hammered white girl already on the karaoke machine; it was only seven pm and she was blackout drunk.

“Wow, this place is interesting.” John said sarcastically thinking the exact same thing about karaoke girl.

“Let’s get some drinks!” Alexander got two long island iced teas. Alexander wasn’t exactly in a great position to get hammered but fuck it right? He chugged the drink and john whistled when he did so.

“My man!” john yelled over the music and put his arm around Alexander’s shoulders. Both of them were far past buzzed when the pair went back for a third round.

“S-stop watering down our d-drinks!” Alexander yelled then turned to laugh at John’s attempt at dancing. Alexander felt buzzing in his pocket and he saw that Eliza was calling him and he declined, knowing he shouldn’t have but he did anyway.

Lots of drunk talks about the current president and that dickhead juge George until Alexander knew he probably should be home. “Oh man John, I g-gotta leave but I’ll see y-you monday.” Alexander hiccuped

“Alright dude, w-we have to h-hang out soon though!” he slurred back, smiling at Alexander with blush underneath his many, many cute freckles.

Wait, cute?

He stumbled onto the pavement. Alexander didn’t remember the next day how the hell he made it home in that state but he just remembered looking at a rat on the sidewalk and thinking ‘I’ve never seen such a fatass rat’ and then he woke up in his apartment on the couch fully dressed and fully confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ’vous êtes vraiment un connard, je ne pouvais pas donner une baise volante!” = you really are an asshole, I couldn’t give a flying fuck!” 
> 
> “Je parle français et vous méprise au tribunal” = I speak French and hold you in contempt of court
> 
> “Je suis désolé mais parfois vous devez jouer le système pour descendre, et cela signifie traiter avec des piqûres comme lui” = i'm sorry but sometimes you have to play the system to get off, and that means dealing with pricks like him


	3. Taking A Break Is Easier Said Than Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Philip is sick and Alexander is very distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent forever on this chapter, I feel like all I do is write, sleep, write, sleep, repeat. I could live this way the rest of my life. I also have an Idea for a Washington X Hamilton fluffy Oneshot where Washington is scared of fireworks and as a panic attack and Hamilton is there to comfort him. lemme now if you'd read that because I just might write it.

_How to care for a terminally ill child_

 

Eliza feels sick as she looks through a pamphlet given to her at the hospital earlier that week, she hasn’t had the courage to touch it until now and even now she’s starting to regret looking at its contents. Death wasn’t ever a thought in Eliza’s mind, unlike Alexander she had never felt in danger her whole life. She knew about Alexander’s past with the death of his mother and cousin back on the Island and how hard he’d worked to get where he is. She knew of all his struggles but couldn’t ever envision this happening to her.

Eliza had lived fairly comfortable life her family was in no way rich but they made do and she had a loving mother and father with a tight knit relationship with her wise and caring sister Angelica. Hell, _both_ her grandparents are still alive. Eliza didn’t even know why she was reading about a worse case scenario, the doctor said nothing was guaranteed; which was bittersweet.

 _Philip is so young_ . Eliza wasn’t sure if he could understand his diagnosis, they had a talk about his cancer and Eliza made sure to use all the correct terms “acute myelogenous leukemia”. The doctors said there _are_ options but there weren’t very many, from the talk they had Eliza realized that basically philip either was sent home to die or they could try an experimental and aggressive course of new drugs and chemotherapy.

 _We had just begun, we are so young_ , Eliza thought to herself. See Eliza ended up knocked up at 18 with Philip and Alexander was 17 now her being 24 and alexander 23. They were two kids in love when Eliza got pregnant, they thought they knew. They got married and eloped, they ran away together to new york after Alexander wrote his way into a free ride scholarship offer Eliza scraped by with a reception job that need little skills just to get the bills paid. They had just gotten everything settled, financially stable; ducks are finally in a row and now this?

 

_It wasn’t fair._

 

Eliza refocused her eyes then shook her head, she shoved the paper into the bedside drawer and sat up. Sighing, she swung her legs over the king bed _meant_ for two; but Alexander was nowhere to be found. She got home late the last night from philip’s treatment to an empty house, Alexander was supposed to be there. Eliza was up all night waiting but called it quits around 4 am.

She closed the bedroom door behind her as quietly as she could, not wanting to wake up Philip on her expedition for breakfast. She knew as soon as he stirred, he’d surely be throwing up.

Turning her attention to the living room she noticed Alexander on the couch asleep, anger made her throat tighten and her ears burn. She pushed her hair behind her ears and pursed her lips before speaking.

“Alexander! Alexander! I swear you are a dead man!” Eliza whisper yelled.

Alexander’s eyes stilted open and looked up at her. The night before event’s flashing before his conscience.

“Eliza.. Oh fuck, I just. I don’t know-” Alexander started to get up from the couch.

“Shhhh!” Eliza’s eyes wide she put her hands out to Alexander then pointed to the balcony. Alexander got the message and followed her outside.

“Wanna tell me where the hell were you? I called you a thousand times, you could’ve been dead for all I knew! Philip was asking for you, and you said you would be there.” Eliza huffed, no being out of earshot of Philip.

“Eliza, I’m so sorry I swear I was going to be there. I went out for drinks with a friend and lost track of time, I should’ve called you. I’m sorry.” Alexander pleaded, his head pounding.

“You are unbelievable.” Eliza sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose “I have to go into the office today” _a lie Eliza knows damn well she’s only  going in for overtime because she needs time to think_ . “I need you to take care of Philip, he’s trying a new drug and he’s going to be _very_ out of it. I made a list of things that will help him get through the nausea; it’s in my bedside drawer.” Eliza sighed.

“Okay, I guess i’ll call you if something happens?” Alexander went to look but all he saw was the front door closing. He dropped down and put his legs up resting his elbows on his knees. Alexander suddenly realized how cold it was, he knows he needs to get inside before Philip wakes up. _Should I even bother making breakfast?_ He reached down into a cabinet and slid out an array of cluttered pots and pans, seizing a medium sized pan and a matching size lid.

Alexander cringed as opening a carton of eggs quietly proved to be harder than you would think, eventually getting it open and cracking the egg on the side of the pan. The slow sizzle filled his ears as the floor tiles became very interesting and he got lost in thought. He couldn’t get curls out of his mind, the green eyes, that oh so genuine and toothy smile. Alexander mindlessly finished the mediocre eggs he made and turning the stove off, setting them on Philip’s favorite disney themed plastic plate, he still couldn’t shake the curly haired man from his thoughts.

The sound of coughing snapped him out of his thoughts, _Philip_ . He bolted to his room to find little Philip crawling toward the door covered in green and yellow colored bile that could also be found on his wood floor. Alexander rushed to his aid, lots of ‘ _hey buddy’s’ and ‘it’s okay’s’_ were said. Cradling him and bringing him into the bathroom next door and setting him down on the cream blue tiles. Philip laid back against the wall and Alexander rubbed his thumb to Philip’s tear stained face.

 “Hey hey now, let’s get this first off you, okay?” Alexander reached to the hem of his shirt and the small boy raised his arms up, letting the shirt fall into a laundry bin in the corner of the room.

“Dad…” Philip lurched forward and threw up into the bin next to him.

“Shhh, it’s okay bud, I know.” Alexander shushed him as he held his curly hair back. Eventually replacing his hands with a hair tie, getting up from the spot he was kneeling. “I’ll get you some water, I’ll be right back.” Alexander made his way back to the kitchen and filling a sippy cup with water, snapping the lid close; Alexander caught a glimpse of forgotten eggs on the counter as he walked back to the bathroom.

“ _Eggs_ , why the _fuck_ would I make _eggs?_ _Stupid_ , _stupid…_ ” Alexander scolded himself under his breath. Walking back into the bathroom and placed the cup on the sink counter with a small _clicking_ noise. Lifting Philip onto the counter grabbing the cup and putting it into his hands.

“Drink, okay?” Alexander looked into his eyes “wait, just, lemme-” Alexander knelt down and opened the below cabinet and looked around until he spotted a rag. He turned the tap on cold then ringing it out, putting it to Philip’s forehead. “There.” Alexander smiled and Philip closed his eyes. Alexander picked him up again “how does some TV sound, Philly?” laying him on the same couch Alexander previously slept on, covering him with the blanket Alexander knows he likes best. _God he looks bad,_ Alexander thought to himself as he turned on cartoon network.

“I’ll be right back, bud just watch this and try to relax.” Alexander waited until he nodded in acknowledgment before walking into the bedroom, rummaging around in the bedside drawer looking for the list Eliza had made. Feeling around and he felt paper, _got it_. Pulling out and his face dropped when he read the front of the paper he had picked up.

 

_How to care for a terminally ill child_

 

 _Is his condition that bad? If it really was this bad, why hadn’t Eliza told me? Is Philip dying?_ Thoughts raced through Alexander’s mind, he shook his head and put the paper back before spotting a lined piece of paper covered in blue ink. Snatching the paper and closing the drawer Alexander shut the bedroom door on his way out. Looking over the paper it was split into three categories: _food_ , _reassurance_ , and _comfort_ . Eliza always did plan everything out very well, constantly prepared and thought out, she was reckless once in her life and it almost ruined her so ever since then she had been like this. looking up from the probably _overly_ organized page, he looked at Philip and he started to study his face. 

Purple and green under his eyes, lips as pale as his now translucent skin, he had always been a bit pale but it no longer held the life and warm honey glow it once did. His eyes blank and his freckles standing out even more. He thought about the pamphlet he found in their shared bedroom, _was Philip dying? He sure fucking looks like it._ He shook the thoughts from his brain and continued to looked over the list Eliza had made and focused on the _food_ section.

“Hey are you hungry? Do want anything to eat? Soup? Crackers? I can make you anything you want.” Alexander said looking at what Eliza had listed.

“No, I’m okay.” Philip said softly, not looking away from the TV.

“Well just let me know if you need anything, little buddy.” Alexander walked out of the room and into the kitchen, sitting at the table where they usual ate together. Now that Alexander thins about it, they hadn’t been eating together lately; he couldn’t even recall the last time.

Alexander held his head in his hands, sighing; _John_ . _why can’t I get him out of I head? What is wrong with me?_ The more he thought the worse the sting in his eyes got. He didn’t even realize he was crying until the tightness in his throat began to noticable hurt. The tears felt boiling hot against his cold skin, he wiped the tears off his face quickly and tied his hair up.

Alexander felt like his life was falling apart and he couldn’t do anything to stop it, he hated Eliza in that moment, keeping things from him. He hated that he couldn’t ever seem to get anything right. The only good thing in his life at the moment, the only potential in his life is _John_ . the guy he had non stop been thinking about, there was _something_ about him. He couldn’t quite place what about him, the way he felt around him that night was indescribable.

 

Then Alexander heard it again, _coughing_. This is when he realized that today is going to be a very long day.


	4. Longing To Be Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander took off his ring and put it under the welcome mat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow it's been a hot minute, sorry. I'v been caught up with other things, I've got a couple new things in the works but enjoy this I guess. want to stay updated on this story and more? follow my twitter: https://twitter.com/mcd111A03
> 
> This is the chapter guys, smexy stuff occurs.
> 
> edit 7/18/2018: I'm an actual fucking idiot, I forgot that Maria Reynolds' name is actually Maria Lewis and she's not married to James in this fic so I changed every time I said "Reynolds" to "Lewis"(I'm going to keep Reynolds in the tags and characters for simplicity reasons).

  
Eliza abandoned the idea of breakfast on her hasty exit of the apartment, steamingling mad as she mad her way to the subway.  
  
If Alexander wants to be skevy, he can do what he wants. Why should I care? I don’t care .  
  
She pushed open the glass double doors of the office complex she had come to know almost too well, usually a comforting constant felt more like a suffocating trap. The room is starting to spin and Eliza is starting to lose her grip on her surroundings. Eliza didn’t even realize that she was falling until she felt something solid and cold underneath her.  
  
What’s going on?  
  
“ _Elizabeth_? _Elizabeth_?” a fuzzy southern toned voice started to get clearer and vision began to return.  
  
Eliza blinked a couple times, and her sight was flooded by bright light and a tall rather handsome looking man was knelt down next to her, maintaining intense eye contact as he spoke.  
  
“Um, yeah, I think so.” Eliza put her palm to her forehead as she stood up, the man took her free hand and led her to a nearby bench. “How do you know my name?” Eliza turned to the unnamed man next to her.  
  
“Oh I’ve just been hearing all the employee’s names earlier, they said ‘Elizabeth’ was very beautiful dark haired girl. Just a lucky guess, darlin’.” The man smiled at her and she felt her heart jump a little in her chest. “Thomas Jefferson, it’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.” Thomas took her palm in his hand and kissed it softly, Eliza felt the blood rush to her face.  
  
“Wel, nice meeting you too, but I’ll have to be on my way.” Eliza gave one last glance to him before turning to clock in.  
  
  
  
Eliza had a hard time focusing at work that day.  
  
  
  
Philip had already gone to bed by the time she got home later that day, she walked into the door to see Alexander, yet again , on the couch; She rolled her eyes internally whilst taking off her heels.  
  
“How was Phil?” she casually opened the fridge, pulling out some rosé and a wine glass.  
  
“Fine, tiring.” he didn’t look away from the tv.  
  
“I’ll bet, you know it’s a bit much to deal with, that is, by yourself. ” Eliza sneered, raising her eyebrows and sipping the wine rather loudly. Alexander sighed and turned off the tv, he shifted to face her.  
  
“Are we seriously having this argument? I told you I was sorry! I don’t know what more you want.” Alexander threw his hands in the air.  
  
“Wow- just… wow .” Eliza threw back the rest of the drink and washed out the glass as she shook her head, “I can’t even talk to you right now, you know what? Since you found that couch so comfy last night, I guess another night won’t hurt.” Eliza tossed a throw pillow at him and as she walked back into the bedroom, her and Alexander had the same dreadful thought.  
  
  
  
_Will Philip be okay?_  
  
  
  
Alexander fell beck onto the couch, sighing and holding his forehead in his palm. The he suddenly heard a ping, moving his attention to the source of the noise, he got a text.  
  
_Wanna meet up for breakfast tomorrow? I got a bit nosy and looked at the cases you’re working on in the public record, there's a specific one I’d like to discuss with you. Btw, friday night was fun ;)_  
  
_-John_  
  
_Alexander saved the number, for working purposes ._  
  
_Sounds good with me, how does the Lewis café sound? 7:15?_  
  
_-Alexander_  
  
John just sent back a thumbs up emoji  
  
He locked his phone, a fuzzy feeling in his chest emerged and he pushed it down, this is for work; nothing more . He couldn’t help but go to sleep with that feeling lingering.  
  
  
  
Alexander woke up a bit too early the following morning, he would never admit it but he was excited to see John. Alexander got up off the medically comfortable couch and went straight for the coffee machine, he impatiently let it brew grabbing his “new york, new york” tourist coffee mug that he bought out of pure irony when he first moved here.  
  
Drinking the liquid like it gave him life, he jumped in the shower, he hummed nothing in particular under the hot water. He placed down the “girly” vanilla and raspberry scented shower gel and turned the water off, Eliza would always tease he about his toiletry choices but he personally couldn’t stand the strongly flavored macho man scents. He pulled his shoulder length, usually greasy brown hair into a half hearted bun and went to the sink; deciding to shave. He washed his face in the running water into the sink that was filling with water and reached for the shave gel.  
  
“ _Fuck_!” Alexander said to nobody and  winced when he nicked the side of his face.  
  
He finished up and checked the time.  
  
_6:52_  
  
He was making good time, he snuck into the bedroom and got dressed in his usual business suit and walked back into the kitchen to turn off the coffee machine and made his way out of the apartment complex; he got a bad thought before leaving.  
  
  
  
Alexander took off his ring and put it under the welcome mat  
  
  
  
The café was in walking distance and he rounded the corner, the door had a bell on it, it jingled as he walked in.  
  
The Lewis café was a cosy mom and pop’s- well more of a mom and mom’s business, it was run by a married couple: Maria Lewis and Angelica Schuyler, well now _Angelica Lewis._ The shop had old books, homely furniture and some damn good coffee in Alexander’s opinion. Alexander was good friends with the two owners, _hell_ even their daughter Susan had regular playdates with Philip and went to school together.  
  
He spotted a head of all too familiar head of curls and went up and tapped him on shoulder, he turned around and his briefly confused expression quickly turned to a smiling one.  
  
“Hey, good morning! What’s up?” John smiled a genuine toothy smile that lit up his whole face, that made that fuzzy feeling in his chest come up, this time he didn’t push it down; he just smiled back at him.  
  
“Well, good morning to you too, want to order some coffee? My treat.” Alexander offered but John shook his head and moved to the side and gestured to the sweetheart table behind him, where there were two to-go cups of coffee sitting. “I hope you don’t mind I ordered for you, my treat.” John chuckled.  
  
“Thank you, John.” Alexander sat down across from John, taking a sip of coffee, mmm.. Caramel…  
  
“Uh, so I wanted to discuss a case, it’s a uh- friend of mine.” Alexander was snapped out of his thoughts. “Marquis Lafayette? He’s uh-” he pursed his lips and cringed before continuing “Facing drug trafficking, minimum of fifteen years in the state of new york, he’s waiting sentencing.” he took another sip of coffee.  
  
“Yes, he’s one of my clients, although justice ThirdKing can be a bit.. Biased sometimes, I’m doing everything I can.” Alexander looked down at his hands, his fingers were locked around the warm paper cup.  
  
John scoffed, “I know” he brought the cup to his lips as he raised his eyebrows. “You know he’s an innocent man, right?” he leaned in closer and continued speaking “he‘s being framed by an absolutely deplorable man, Thomas Jefferson-” Alexander cut him off.  
  
“Woah woah _woah_ , it’s not my job to _know anything_ , it’s just my job to get him off. Did you talk to the police, _a detective?_ ” Alexander inquired with wide eyes.  
  
“They don’t believe me, I’ve tried.” John sighed.  
  
“Then there’s nothing you can do really, I’m sorry, I’m doing everything I can.” Alexander placed a hand on John’s shoulder “I really am sorry, I promise I’m doing everything I can.” John put both his hands up suddenly and shook them slightly.  
  
“You know what, forget it, I’ll figure it out.” he smiled and looked up at him and laughed. “That was really inappropriate of me, I’ll let the authorities look into it like they said they would.’’ John glanced at his wrist, “oh wow, look at the time- I need to go, sorry.” he rushed out of the café before Alexander could even get a word in; he heard the familiar bell once again. Alexander really wasn’t sure what else to do so he left, he went down to the boring bars seminar that he had to do to keep up his law degree that he had been putting off.  
  
  
  
Two weeks of boring and poorly made google slides shows later, Alexander was back in the Lewis café .  
  
He had his work mini laptop with him and sat at that same sweetheart table two weeks ago that felt like years ago, this time he had a BLT croissant and another caramel flavored coffee. He hadn’t seen John more than a couple glances here and there at work and god he miss that man He was writing up a report for his boss about his client, Lafayette ; He was studying the case more closely for, work reasons . It made him ill just looking at it now, he had been staring at it so long so he closed out of the page and put in his earphones. He started scrolling through twitter, trying (and failing miserably) to get his mind off those green eyes that infected his subconscious.  
  
  
  
“What?” Alexander asked as he took out his earphones.   
“I said, it’s closing time.” Maria repeated “why are you here so late anyway?”  
  
“Guess I just lost track of time.” Alexander rubbed his face :I’ve got a lot on my mind.  
  
“Wanna talk about it?” she sat on the chair across from him  
  
“Honestly, not really.” he closed his laptop and grabbed his bag, sliding it in. he stood to leave. “I’ll get out of your hair, goodnight.”  
  
“Tell Eliza I said hi, well goodnight Alexander.” she laughed as she went back into the kitchen.  
  
Alexander lifted his hand to unlock the door to his apartment but stopped when his phone pinged .  
  
_Can you come over? I’d really like to talk about why I freaked that time at the café. Sorry about that, I haven’t talked to you I’ve just been swamped at work._  
  
_-John_  
  
_Fuck it,_  
  
_No worries, what’s your Address?_  
  
_-Alexander_  
  
It felt like not even a moment later, he was on the L train to John’s place, and even quicker he was in front of his door; his hand raised to knock, he hesitated but shook off his nerves and knocked twice. And a couple seconds of shuffling later, he was being ushered in by John.  
  
“You wanted to talk?” Alexander nonchalantly walked in the studio apartment.  
  
“Please sit.” he gestured to a smallish couch. “Lafayette is my half brother.” he sighed “we’ve never met.”  
  
“Oh.” Alexander didn’t really know what to do  
  
“I’m- don’t think that- _well_ , okay. I’m not mad at you Alexander.” John stumbled over his words.  
  
“Alex.” he stopped him “call me Alex.” he casually slid a bit closer to John. “I understand this completely. Can we just not talk about work right now?”  
  
“Oh course” he looked surprised, he stood up. “Want some coffee?” he went over to the counter, pouring himself a mug and drinking it.  
  
“No thanks, _huh_ , I wouldn’t take you for the black coffee type.” Alex observed.  
  
“Oh, I’m really not. Just when i’m stressed I crave simplicity.” John answered.  
  
“I completely agree, simplicity is key in life my friend.” Alex walked over to him and placed a hand on his forearm, he saw john’s Adam's apple dip as his breath visibly hitched. Alex didn’t even know why he was even being this flirtatious, admittedly he liked a lot john but he was with Eliza, and Philip was at home. He pushed the thoughts of his wife and child and leaned in to whisper in John’s ear.  
  
“I’m _all_ about simplicity.”  
  
And that was it, John pulled Alex into a passionate kiss, John reached behind himself to put his mug down before wrapping his arms around Alex’s neck. Alex knew he really shouldn’t be doing this at all , Literally every single thing about this was in every single way was wrong; but he didn’t stop.  
  
John was working on his neck and both men were unbuttoning each other's shirts, suit jackets abandoned in the kitchen, along with John’s coffee; along with Alex’s self control. John pushed him onto the bed and threw both their shirts to the floor.  
  
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” John’s lips swollen and his face flushed. Alex just put his hand on the back of his neck and kissed him in response. John took his pants off and Alex did the same, John went to give a hickey to his neck but Alex stopped him.   
“Work? Keep it below the collar?” Alex smiled  
  
“Right right you’re right” he chuckled back. John started to trail hickies down his stomach and stopped to lick at his navel with caused Alex to grip the sheet.   
“ _Fuck_! J-John!” he moaned out, John just softly laughed in response and pulled off Alex’s boxers completely, throwing them aside somewhere in the room to be momentarily forgotten. John put the flat of his tongue to the tip of his head, barley teasing him, smiling up at Alex with the corners of his mouth. Alex groaned.  
  
“Long time?” John laughed again, stroking him slowly.   
“You could say that.” Alex replied, burying his face in the crook of his elbow. John took Alex’s head in his mouth and swirled his tongue, swallowing him down deeper, he put a hand over what he couldn’t fit. He bobbed his head slowly, gripping his hand slightly.  
  
“Uh, do you by any chance have any um, lube?.” Alex panted, his elbows on either side of him, propping his halfway up. John pulled off with a wet ‘pop’ .  
  
“Yeah, it’s uh, there.” he pointed to the shelve next to Alex and he grabbed it and handed it to John. Alex shifted and sat up a bit more  
  
“I’ve actually _uh_ , never done this before.” Alex admitted, in all honesty he didn’t even know he was gay until he met John a couple weeks ago.  
  
“Oh, wow, uh we can go slow. Don’t worry.” John said light heartedly. Then he opened the bottle, squeezing a bit onto his fingers, he reached in between Alex’s legs and looked up at him before pushing in.  
  
“Is this okay?” John breathed.  
  
“Yeah, it just feels weird- a _good_ weird.” Alex gripped John’s shoulders, John curled his finger as he moved it. “K-Keep going.” John added his middle finger and Alex bit back a moan. John added a third, slowly working him open, taking his time. Alexander looked to John with a flushed face and a just a bit of water at the corners of his eyes. “Condom?” John shuffled off his bed to his discarded pants, quickly getting his wallet and a packet of latex out and  shedding his way too tight boxers on the floor bore rolling the plastic on himself.  
  
“Are you sure you’re alright?” John looked into his eyes.   
“I have never been more sure in my life.” Alex smiled and John lined himself up.   
“So fucking- tight, god _Alex_!” John inched his way in. Alex just pulled John closer with his arms. Alex bottomed out and they stayed still for a while until Alex told him it was okay to move. That point on Alex was just a mess of incoherent ‘John!’s and ‘yes!’s.  
  
“Alex, I’m so c-close, _god_ ” John said, breathing heavy.  
  
With that Alex spilled onto both their chests and John followed. And when John fell to lay next to Alex is when reality settled in.  
  
“You just took my second virginity, congrats.” Alex blankly joked, eyes glued to the ceiling.  
  
“ _Thank.. You..?”_ John laughed, labored breathing filled the room.  
  
Alex also just did another thing for the first time, he had never cheated on anyone of his partners before .  
  
  
  
_What the fuck did I just do?_


End file.
